I admit it. I’ve been slacking. I’ve been slacking on a few things… One of them being that I’ve only been putting out a single blog post per week as of late and I need to start upping my output. I’m sorry to all of you who need this blog to get through your day. I know there are thousands of you just waiting patiently to know my thoughts on life and personal progress through this quest. 🤣
Lately I’ve been slightly distracted and have let it hinder a few of my ultimate goals; you know, that quest thing I keep writing about… Why am I distracted? I hate to admit it, but CALL OF DUTY: WW2. That’s why. At least it was last weekend. I definitely went HAM (Hard As a Motherfucker, for my white readers) when the game came out and have been putting in way too many hours working on my Kill to Death Ratio… Yep. I’m cool. It’s good to have things to lose yourself in, however, it’s bad when you really lose yourself to the point that it spills over into time you should be spending working on other and more productive aspects of living. I have started limiting my time playing and started basing whether or not I can pick up that XBOX controller on what I’ve accomplished during the day.
Another distraction has been my new roomie, Jocelyn. Joss rocks!!! I’m glad to have her living here and it’s nice to converse with more than just one person a day (being Brandi) like I had been prior to the new arrangement. She’s been a good sport, keeps the place clean, and even makes dinner and breakfast on occasion! Talk about a sweet setup. The distraction was just getting her moved in and adjusting to living with an additional person. Ultimately it’s been great because it’s helping both my girlfriend and I keep the house up and stay on top of things that we sometimes neglect.
Joss and I last summer on Naterbator’s boat.
Meanwhile, other parts of my life are changing rapidly for the better and the positive changes have exceeded my expectations. So, let’s elaborate on the positive, yesterday I began my week with a 35 minute sauna coupled with meditation (I did about 15 minutes of meditation, followed by another ~8 minutes of meditation during the sauna session – this was not guided, which I currently find more difficult than the opposite). While meditating and monitoring my thoughts coming and going, I realized that impatience and uneasiness were two things that I deal with internally. My brain kept wandering and dwelling on how much longer I had left (in the sauna) while I should have been thinking about absolutely nothing but the practice. That’s a good revelation to have and I am glad that I did, as I thought I had developed a higher level of patience than what I was exhibiting. Taking note of that I have realized I need to find calm and acceptance of just being and to do so I am going to have to work on silencing that chatty voice in my head. Today I, again, started off my day in the sauna where I meditated and followed it with a steam and cold shower. I had a greater level of patience and was able to keep my thoughts mostly clear.
This past weekend I trained on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. In fact, I trained twice on Saturday by trail running six+ miles with my good friend, Adam, who came to visit me from Port Orchard, WA. My fitness is becoming the most well-rounded it’s ever been. Strength-wise I’m nowhere near what I was in my early and mid-twenties, but I couldn’t have run any sort of distance then and I’m certain yoga would have had me falling on my face, although, come to think of it, it still does. So, this past week I worked out six of seven days, I took Wednesday off, one of my workouts was hot yoga and I meditated in the sauna at least 5 times for over 15 minutes. Pretty solid week in that aspect and this week is shaping up to be just as good, if not better.
So what else? Well, as I’ve been working out, I’ve changed my diet a bit and started practicing intermittent fasting multiple times per week. I am starting by pushing my first meal back to about 1-3 PM and restricting the hours I eat to around eight (for starters). I’m still experimenting with the right way to eat but have integrated a big salad into my diet at least once per day. I’m going to do a whole blog post on nutrition and supplementation in the near future. What I can say is that my weight has been dropping while my strength has been increasing.
And beyond that? So, here’s the meat of the taco. Any sign of depression that I had been dealing with is GONE. Sometimes I may even have reasons to be depressed or, at least, incredibly stressed, but I’m not. I feel fantastic physically and mentally, and when I compare myself now to me 60-90 days ago, I am in a whole different, very positive space.
Where I’m lacking is in the ability to manage all of these things at once. This may be redundant, as I believe I’ve stated this previously, but to take on all these different verticals (e.g. Physical Health, Mental Health, Creativity, Career/Learning & Relationships) is challenging and takes processes to accomplish… which are, honestly, lacking.
So what am I lacking to do and where are the hangups? I am lacking the consistency that I need to make this quest what I want to make it. Although I can see progress in my thought processes and my overall well-being, I am not accomplishing anything monetarily or career-wise, for instance. That may come with time, but I need to get that going sooner than later. As for reading and journaling… I’ve been fairly consistent, but could, as I suggested earlier, up the output. In fact, that’s really what I need to do in general: up the output.
A lot of our lives we sit around thinking things will just happen. They don’t. The only way things happen is if you take initiative and make them actually happen. Who cares if it’s perfect… just put it out and keep going. I’ve done this before and had decent results, but then get hung up on some small thing and would see the reverse outcome. ADHD is a bitch, and if I’m not careful I find myself in a negative feedback loop beating myself up over this or that… If you take this blog as an example, I could post something and then dwell on how many followers or likes I get… That’s not productive at all. What is productive is the output. Getting new material out there. Good material creates likes and followers and works on its own merit. Micromanaging the stats does nothing but breed anxiety. This can be applied to so many aspects of life. Worrying about a little fat on the stomach instead of just getting after it at the gym. Worrying about cash so you sell some things in the garage, maybe a good idea at times, but just fucking do some actual work. So, now, I can see this is what I need to do. So, with that said, I’m going to UP THE OUTPUT.